


Carpooling with Chloe and Lucifer

by Witherstone



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Car Chases, Carpooling, Casual, Chloe KNOWS, Established Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Jealousy, POV Third Person, dan knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28920939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witherstone/pseuds/Witherstone
Summary: Driving down LA roads with Lucifer and the Detective as told by their unwilling passengers.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 13
Kudos: 129





	1. Carpooling with Chloe and Lucifer

Set in S2, inspired by S2 ep 6 'Monster' Chloe's line ' _You look like a homeless magician_ '. Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

The undercover mission was a bust. Their main suspect, Devin Barry, a low-life dealer and only connection they had to the murdered prostitute, had run away the exact moment Lucifer attempted to make a deal with him. Quite logically Barry didn't believe his luck when a well-dressed British man ordered five bricks of the finest cocaine money could buy and decided to flee the scene, leaving his accomplice, a teenage boy named Pablo, to fend for himself in the rundown bar downtown.

With Narcs taking over the scene, all Chloe could do was recite Pablo his rights before yanking him into her car in handcuffs to bring him to the station for questioning. Finding Barry would be close to impossible now that he knew the police were on to him. The murdered girl was rumored to be his client, partner maybe, but with only circumstantial evidence they couldn't stop him from leaving the country altogether. She sat behind the wheel, slamming the car doors and pressing her head into the headrest in tense silence. Pablo peeked hesitantly from the back seat; despite being only seventeen, it wasn't the first time he was apprehended by the force. Knowing they didn't find any product on him was reassuring, though. Especially since the detective didn't seem to care for his presence very much, focused on the tall man getting into the passenger's seat with a jovial expression.

"I can't believe how much you blew it", the female cop hissed, glaring at the man. He asserted himself with smug confidence that immediately told Pablo he was more likely to belong in a mob rather than in law enforcement.

"I'll have you know I did no such thing", the man replied, then clicked his seatbelt under the woman's scrutinizing gaze. She started the car, her knuckles white on the wheel. "Who could have expected Mr. Barry to have such strong prejudices against the finer things in life?"

Pablo didn't understand what the man was saying, but then again, he didn't have to. The radio was turned off, so he only listened to the conversation from lack of better things to do. Like contemplating his charges and a possible prison sentence.

"I said casual." The woman was still fuming, but merged into a line with the caution of an elderly devotee. "I fucking told you not to march in there in a three-piece suit with your lordship air and peasant contempt." Pablo remembered the event vividly. For a cop, her acting was on point, a skinny lady laying low, just looking for a fix. She said she knew Clarissa, Devin's ex-girlfriend. It sounded plausible enough and Pablo himself would have sold her dope and felt sorry for her.

Then her partner strode in and the whole bar knew it was a bust.

"There's nothing arrogant about taking care of one's appearance", the weird British man retorted, though he clearly looked guilty, if not a little wounded.

The lady cop snorted, turning on her signal sensibly long before making a turn. "But there's plenty of vanity. It's like you couldn't tell the front side of a t-shirt." Pablo had three sisters and knew when a pissed-off woman's rant was gaining momentum. "I mean, do you even _own_ a pair of snickers?"

The man didn't seem affected anymore, like he braced himself for her anger. "Pot calling the kettle, detective. One might say it's your own frustration speaking through your discounted Walmart apparel."

The car fell silent for the tiniest of moments. Even Pablo held his breath. "Oh no you didn't, Mister 'I express myself with pocket squares and cocaine'."

Was... was that flirting? That cocky bastard just insulted a police officer and she was responding with banter?

The teenager didn't have time to acknowledge how bizarre his day was getting before the man replied.

"At least I'm not Miss 'Off-brand cereal tastes practically the same'. You _do_ know the 'three for ten dollars deal' isn't an actual deal?"

Pablo didn't dare smile at the burn, sensing the tension in the car. So that was how the rich Europeans did it.

"Careful not to sprain your neck from looking down on us humans so hard." There was definite mocking in the cop's tone, even as she stayed in utter control of herself. Did they do this often? "You might seem like you give a shit and your demon friends wouldn't like that."

What the hell did that mean? Was that guy actually with the mafia?

"Is that right?" His offended tone could well belong in the Parliament. "Well, you look like a bored housewife who forgot to get bread because of the boxed wine sale."

Did he really just get arrested by those people?

"Asshole." Finally, Pablo could agree with a cop on something. "You look like you've been wearing the same makeup since your goth phase in the _actual_ eighteenth century."

"You look like you have to choose between making a down payment on your car or on your toaster."

"You look like you take Vibramycin so often you have to tell people you like the taste."

Seventh grade, this is what it reminded him of. It was getting ridiculous.

"Go out with me tonight."

Oh.

"No."

Pablo met the man's eyes in the rear mirror, noticing something disturbingly akin to a wink.

"Your roots are showing."

That actually got her to snort as she slowed down in traffic, keeping a safe distance from the car in front.

"Not your greatest pick-up line, Lucifer."

Okay, that was a mob name. It had to be.

"Go out with me." The man's eyes were drilling holes in the detective's neck. "Or I'll tell everyone your beauty mark is fake and you had it tattooed to get attention at your mother's auditions."

Did that take balls, or was it just suicidal? Pablo couldn't tell anymore, amazed that adults talked like that.

"No one will believe it", the detective replied confidently, finally turning to Lucifer. 

"They would if I said it." He paused, judging her reaction, and she actually seemed to be _considering_ it. "Drinks at Lux at eight? Maybe a little dancing?"

Her fingers drummed at the wheel, impatient to move in the afternoon jam. "Are you blackmailing me into going out with you?"

Pablo briefly wondered if it would ever work for him.

"No, I'm giving you an excuse to say yes." Lucifer's voice lowered into honey-covered temptation. "Come on, detective, I know you want to."

"You still look like a perverted Gomez Addams." Nothing but her words conveyed she changed her mind. "Pick me up at seven."

The man leaned back in the seat, all smug in his expensive out-of-place suit, and Pablo considered asking him for an introduction to the family before he heard his last remark.

"You look like you buy in bulk."


	2. Like A Princess

Set in AU S5 ep 7 'Our Mojo' where Michael never met Daniel in the cemetery. Instead, Dan confronted Chloe and Lucifer without a gun and they talked. Dan knows, Chloe knows, she knows he knows, he knows she knows, everyone just knows.

* * *

Daniel Espinoza sighed heavily, dragging himself into the back seat of Chloe's Dodge. His own car was incapacitated right as he reached the crime scene and as his ex-wife was the first one to drive back to the precinct, he was forced to catch a lift. Unfortunately, it meant dealing with her irritating partner riding shotgun.

Last night required took a lot of whisky and Chloe's patient explanations to barely get him over his initial panic. He was still very much against the King of Hell wrecking chaos in their lives, though.

"It's not anyone's fault you caught a flat, Dan", Chloe coaxed, misinterpreting his annoyance. "They'll just tow it away and the insurance will cover the costs. You'll get it back first thing tomorrow."

Lucifer was playing a game on his phone, ignoring them until Chloe gave up on urging him to fasten his seatbelt and just started the car. She was letting him get away with more and more, Dan thought. And it really bothered him how she giggled at his lame jokes now.

The Adversary, Beelzebub, playing Candy Crush with sound. Unfathomably ancient and as assholish and kooky as ever.

Chloe sensibly looked both ways before entering a crossroad, then touched Lucifer's wrist to get his attention. "Do you have my clothes back yet?", she asked without taking her eyes off the road and Dan's hair-thin self-control snapped.

"Excuse me?", he leaned forward, looking between them. "You leave clothes at his place now?"

"Don't fret, Daniel, the detective can leave much more than her apparel." The Devil was now texting, disregarding him in that special way that made his blood boil. No one pushed Dan's buttons like Lucifer. "I was thinking of getting her a second toothbrush, actually."

"I had to change for the ... thing", Chloe interrupted, trying to defuse the brewing fight. She was used to being the buffer between them, and really, what changed now? "Lucifer insisted to have my stuff dry cleaned. As if stretchy jeans ever needed that."

"Anxious to get them back, detective, or do you only own two pairs?" Her partner only now looked up and Daniel almost choked at the supposedly-charming-but-in-fact-obnoxious smirk he was giving her. "Just kidding, I know you own three."

"Are you done?", Chloe snapped, but she was smiling under the remark. It only added fuel to Lucifer's game.

"Maze usually picks up the laundry. I'll do a little detour after and have them by your place in the morning."

"Thanks. Is she out on a bounty now?"

She kept her tone conversational while Lucifer did nothing to hide his bedroom eyes. He could make fresh laundry dirty just by staring at it.

Mephistopheles at a dry-cleaner's.

"A little thing in San Jose. She sent a selfie." Lucifer showed her the screen and Chloe glanced briefly at Maze's manic grin before focusing on switching lines.

"Trixie made her a drawing, she can get it when she's back. She made a thank-you card for you, too."

"Really? Whatever for?"

"The after-school play Aston Martin pickup. Her friends wouldn't stop talking about it."

"Well, she was playing a princess, it was only fitting she had a ride to match."

It could not be this domestic.

"You're bringing him to Trixie's events now?", Daniel barked, grabbing the plastic divider between them. He remembered the many times his daughter hugged the Antichrist.

Chloe looked at him in the rear mirror, carefully composed. "It was just a ride home, Dan. You couldn't get there 'cause of the Tarkovsky case."

Why did he sound like he was sulking when he felt like the last rational person here? "So you're cutting coupons off his suspicious fortune."

His ex-wife swallowed, using that calm voice of hers reserved for trauma survivors and idiots. "Dan, we're... kinda together now." The very tone pissed him off on top of her words.

"Dating Satan. Great choices there, Chlo."

Lucifer pitched in unasked, as always. "As opposed to your alone time with my mum, a literal goddess. My devilness pales in comparison."

It was the mention of Charlotte finally did it. "For fuck's sake!", Dan yelled, but neither of them even flinched. "Chloe, he is the Devil. The... everything bad." He laughed hysterically. "You're insane!"

"He's not evil." He heard this line repeatedly last night. "Look, I know it's a lot to process, but you've known him for years."

His ex-wife is snoggling the Devil. And the Devil's mom blew him in the living room slash kitchenette of his bachelor pad.

He decided to go for the kill. "I just don't want him around my daughter. I never did, but this... this is _too much_."

Suddenly, Chloe's understanding ran dry, her expression turning cold. "Do you think he's endangering her?"

"What?" God's wife on her bare knees, and he was sitting in an old chair that creaked with his every shudder.

"Do you have any evidence that he put her in a compromising position or exposed her to a negative influence?" The detective spoke sharply, covering her irritation with cop logic, and he hated bouncing off her shield. He needed a real fight, a way to release all the confusing emotions within him, while she was giving him _reason_.

"His very existence is a negative influence. To the universe." Charlotte looked him in the eyes as he came, kneeling on his dark-beige carpet.

"Do you have any proof, though?"

Her partner finally picked up on the tense mood, peeking at the back seat with disdain. "Detective, what is this about?"

Chloe decided to make herself as clear as if she was testifying. "How would you feel about never seeing Trixie again, Lucifer?"

He leaned back, unsure and guarded. "Can't say I'll be heartbroken, but the urchin might get a bit blue. She's really perceptive, if her last drawing was any indication." He meant the pentagram drawn above his head in her latest work and the red crayon she used for his eyes. He'd never admit he kept that one in his study.

"Dan and I have shared custody", Chloe explained, taking a detour to avoid a traffic jam. "Trixie is to live with me, something I thought we _agreed_ on. But Dan can overrule me in court if I'm creating an unstable environment for her."

"You mean like Maze teaching your child the knives?"

Daniel groaned from the back seat. "She wasn't... Chloe, tell me she wasn't, I explicitly told her not to."

She stared at him impatiently. "She's not, I'm with you on that. They're practicing self-defense on sponge dummies now." She paused for a moment, recalling the joy in Trixie's eyes as she finally hit the solar plexus. Maze lifted her up in the air when she thought Chloe wasn't looking. "It's never too early for that", she added with conviction.

Dan wasn't consoled. "Doesn't change the fact my daughter is buddies with an actual demon from Hell."

"Good luck proving that in front of a judge", Lucifer smirked.

"Dan, you know Maze." Eating cereal with vodka and promising her daughter a hellhound for Christmas. "She'd never let anything happen to Trix."

Lucifer chuckled from the side. "That much is true, even if I don't comprehend her attachment myself." The right bastard.

"All I'm saying is she shouldn't be exposed to _this kind_ of influence."

"To religion, or to the truth?" Chloe laughed, losing the poise. "Dan, I don't mention this stuff to her. It's not like Lucifer walks around with his wings on display."

Wings. Because he's a fallen angel. Described in the Bible. Just... _fuck_.

"Careful, detective, the douche is still adjusting."

Chloe carried on, waving her hand at a driver letting her turn left before him. "If anything, Trixie is more than protected. She has two angels on her side and Maze would never let her get hurt."

"Two...?", Daniel started before realization hit. "Amenadiel."

"Never thought about him that way, did you?" Lucifer turned around with sadistic glee. "Don't let me mention how easily Beatrice made friends with little Charlie."

Dan breathed out, seeing their manly bonding differently in retrospect. "He was an angel the entire time."

"And half of it he was determined to send me back to Hell, or didn't you chaps gossip about that?"

Chloe covered the basics, but didn't recap _everything_ from the last three years. Recognizing how they were all submerged in the divine affairs right from the start was making Dan nauseous. As on cue, Chloe reached the station, slowing down in search of a parking spot.

"Guys, cut it out." She was still playing referee despite blatantly taking her partner's side. The Devil's advocate - the absurd felt like a punch. "Dan, if you really want to discuss Trixie's wellbeing, right now is not the best time, we have a lead to follow. Dinner tomorrow?"

He had to get out, get some air, get away from them before his brain melted. "I have to think about it. I'll call you."

He exited the car without waiting for a reply and she continued to circle the parking. Lucifer looked after him, fixing his cuffs absentmindedly.

"That went well, don't you think?"

Chloe snarked, zeroing in on a free space. "What went well is you basically admitting you like to spend time with my daughter."

"Anything for you, detective", he scoffed, looking offended as he left.

Chloe lingered for a minute in the parked car, unplugging her phone from the charger and smiling to herself. "Yeah, right."


	3. Devil Take The Wheel

Set shortly after S3 ep 22 'All Hands on Decker'.

* * *

Policewomen were usually assigned male partners, though the sheer reason for it was prosaic rather than sexist. Female officers working in the field made barely a fifth of the force, the majority of them still gravitating towards safe desk jobs after collecting enough benefits to make it economically viable. And then there were of course scandalous romances, swiped under the rug of HR compliance with short-lived marriages or convenient transfers. Officer Okoye secretly hated those women, compromising the entire gender with their weaknesses.

Chloe Decker fell victim to those accusations on a daily basis. After she married and divorced her superior, then almost married the Lieutenant, and was now monopolizing the most eligible bachelor the precinct has seen in years, it was easy to despise her, to exchange looks with other women when she joined them for coffee or passed them in the corridor. Decker caught on it early and never engaged, remaining professional and unthreatening while crushing the scoreboards with her solve rate.

But under the strained politeness Okoye knew she cared and seeing her now, tired and pushing unpaid overtime in an anonymous diner, she felt like shit for spinning gossip about her. The work was often ungrateful and Decker never broke the code, either by snitching or sleeping her way to the top, unlikely as it may seem. A hardworking underdog and a single mother, Okoye reckoned Decker sacrificed more than she gained, with her no-make-up make-up and shapeless clothes, chasing justice as if time didn't strip her of rookie idealism.

Maybe Decker deserved some slack. At least now, during the witching hour at the cheap diner, perched on the counter, skimming the newspaper over a plate of overdone eggs and bacon. It would be weird for Okoye to plain ignore her in the empty establishment, after all; without her partner, she didn't want to be the odd cop out. That, and also Lucifer waved at her the moment she walked in.

"Officer Okoye, what a pleasant surprise!"

That man never forgot a face or a name. She smiled meekly and approached them at the counter, nodding to the exhausted woman who didn't even try to interrupt her partner's agitated manner.

"The detective and I were just coming down from a rather uneventful evening. Are you working the nightshift again?"

"That I am", she replied, straightening herself and pondering the difference between small talk and imposing. Talking to the civilian consultant was the easiest thing in the world, but with Decker still silent over her plate, she felt unwelcome. "What were you doing?"

Lucifer just seemed happy to complain to someone who didn't roll their eyes at him. "A stakeout on the corner of Rialto and Riviera. And let me just tell you how _boring_ it was." He sighed dramatically. "I reckon even more so than your daily duties. The culprit or his people didn't show once and all we witnessed were a dozen illegally parked vehicles. The rudeness of this murderer is beyond me."

He wasn't trying to be mean, Okoye realized. And then she caught herself thinking that maybe detective Decker was the same.

"You spent the whole time drinking", Chloe finally said, turning to them.

"And this is why I'm running on empty now!", he emphasized by patting the left side of his jacket, where the trademark flask remained in his inside pocket. "Which only remains me how thirsty I am", he added, reaching for Decker's half-drunk coffee. She grabbed it out of his hand after he took the first sip, putting it down with the authority of an experienced mother.

"I'll get you your own, Lucifer."

"No need. Just finish up so I can finally go somewhere fun."

Decker just grunted in response, getting back to her meal, and Okoye suddenly felt like she was trespassing in their private space.

"I'll go order", she muttered and went to the cash register, squinting her eyes to read the specials on the oily whiteboard above the grill.

Behind her, Lucifer leaned to Chloe, his voice down to a subtle whisper.

"You'll never make friends at the station if you keep ignoring people like that."

She sneered in response, bowing her head to make sure they weren't heard in the empty diner.

"Okoye's the one who told everyone Dan and I only got married because I got pregnant." She eyed the officer, still making out the smudged menu items. "And you're scolding me for not playing nice?"

He reached for her coffee again, but she didn't stop him this time.

"Then you should forgive her. Jealousy clearly spoke through her back then."

Chloe frowned, then shook her head with disbelief. "No one's jealous of me and it was a dick move. She ostracized me long ago and the only thing I can do is move on and pay no attention to her gossip."

Lucifer opened his mouth to answer, but Okoye chose that moment to return, carrying two coffee mugs and placing one in front of him.

"Why, thank you", he gracefully accepted and relaxed in the seat, left arm pressed behind him in an open stance. "And what happened to your partner, officer?"

He was always so formal with the titles and Okoye just wished he would call her Reena.

"Parker called in sick today. Though if you ask me, he's just spending the day with his new girlfriend."

Chloe did everything she could not to snicker. Screw Lucifer's mojo, this woman just spread rumors for the sake of it.

"I still need to swing by the station, pick up the case files to go through tomorrow", she said casually, watching the officer and not missing the glint in her eyes. "You could drive Lucifer back if you wish for company and don't mind his whining."

"I do not whine", he replied with offense, fixing his cufflinks on a suit that stood out like a sore thumb in the middle of another repeat of Blueberry Hill. "Though if you wouldn't mind driving straight to Lux, I'd be much indebted. This night could surely use some entertainment." He looked out through the front store window. "Did you park out back, officer?"

"Huh?" Okoye followed his gaze into the parking lot, noticing how Decker's gray Dodge Charger was the only car in sight. Cold panic crept through her as she ran to the front door, looking out as if her tired Ford Taurus would magically appear out of thin air.

She didn't lock the doors. Parker usually drove them and she only came in for a quick snack. The parking lot was well-lit and it wasn't even a dangerous district...

Time seemed to slow down as her black-and-white Ford screeched its tires cornering the diner and frantically joined the traffic, cutting off several drivers as it crossed two lines at once. That is until Lucifer pushed through her in the door and Decker grabbed her elbow, dragging her outside.

"Come on, we can still catch him!", the detective hollered, unlocking her car from the distance. Her partner was already ahead, gesturing with an arm up in the air.

"Only if you let me drive for once", he taunted and Chloe threw her keys to him, ushering Okoye to the back seat and slamming the doors behind them. He drove before any of them had the chance to click their seatbelts.

"Who the fuck steals a police car?!", Okoye shouted as she bounced from the sides when Lucifer sped up, chasing after her vehicle. Decker turned on the siren and called dispatch.

"Plenty of dimwits out there, officer", Lucifer answered, arms straightened on the wheel with a smug grin, as if he was finally enjoying himself. From the passenger's seat, Decker reported back to base, steadying herself with a hand pressed hard against the dashboard through her partner's crazy maneuvers.

"Dispatch, this is Unit 831, reporting a stolen police vehicle on Alhambra. We're in pursuit. Registration plate 7JSQ710, officer Okoye is with us, unharmed. Requesting backup."

They were too far away for Decker to make out the registration plate, though Lucifer's reckless driving was bringing them closer by the minute. So did she remember all of her coworkers' plates, or just the ones who pissed her off..?

"Are you entertained yet?", Lucifer cheered while barely avoiding a parked truck. "It's been a while since our last car chase, hasn't it, detective?"

Chloe fought with the jamming seatbelt until it finally clicked over a sharp turn. "Just don't floor it like a sportscar or you'll kill the engine."

Lucifer floored it like a sportscar, bitching about automated transmission.

Okoye held on for her dear life, seeing the duo in action for the first time. Decker navigated with sharp commands, gritting her teeth as the car's paint got scraped over buildings and curbs, while Lucifer zeroed in on the police car upfront, utilizing every last ounce of power left in the old Dodge to catch up.

There were a lot of rumors around the precinct about this odd partnership. At some point Lucifer just started showing up like a stray cat, gifting charming smiles and stealing from the breakroom fridge, and then he was there to stay. Everyone had a wacky story about him but the one unanswered question was why he decided to work with Decker - and exclusively with her.

A few detectives tried to steal him away or at least borrow him for a tricky case and he happily volunteered his services, as long as his chosen detective went along. He mocked her mercilessly, but at the same time always made sure credit was due when she did good work, and it made Okoye wonder... why Chloe? Why did all those men look at her like she was God's gift?

At thirty-eight and a divorcee with a kid, she was hardly a catch. Her body was okay on the days she remembered to wear make-up to go with her oversized sweaters and sensible shoes. Her high solve rate could be easily accredited to her partner's shady connections, and yet... Okoye could see her in a different light now, cold control covering some eery excitement as she focused on catching the car thief. How quickly she shifted between a tired mother and a cutlass badge in chase.

They ran the red light over an intersection at full speed and Okoye braced herself for impact when they barely missed a jeep ready to T-bone them.

"Weren't you drinking the whole day?!", she heard herself bawling when Lucifer didn't even wince over the deadly obstacle. He smiled at her at the rear mirror and forced the car to go even faster, going around the block to block their target.

"You can test him later, Reena", Chloe replied, staring straight ahead through the narrow street. "It'll show zero, like it always does. No idea how."

Lucifer smirked, bending the car's bumper on an unfortunate Honda parked on the curb. "As I told you many times, detective, it's a perk of being..."

"The Devil!", Reena exclaimed, the adrenaline getting to her. Lucifer grinned, breaking abruptly in front of her stolen car as it dented the Dodge's side, stopping at last.

"See? Officer Okoye gets it!", he beamed as Chloe sprinted out to arrest the thief.


End file.
